....sorry about the above text but I needed to write it down and get it out. Its just my frustrations. If only you guys understood Ilonggo. Basically... I said paraphrasing and leaving somethings out.. I feel kinda of lost right now. I feel like I don't really have many friends anymore. I don't have any real friends (you know some one I can talk comfortable about anything with and just be myself) in my Ward now. I have a lot of people at church I say Hi to and make some small talk with usually initiated by me but nothing more than that. I feel like there are a lot of groups of friends in my ward but that the doors are closed now to get in them. I feel like my opportune time to make friends in the ward was when I came home from my mission and I messed it up now. I don't have any close friend at school or institute. So most of the time I just find my self sitting out on the sidelines (like Gunner Durant) in conversations and groups all awkwardly and people look all funny at me when I but in. Seriously, I'm trying to be friendly with everyone.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Ambot!!
Medyo masubo ako subong kay ang batyagan ko daw waay ako mga ambiyan na. May ara ako cell phone pero waay gatawag sa akon. Ambot kung kaya ako magpangita sang mga bago nga ambiyan labi nga gid nga Wala na ang mga BF ko sa Ward ko. Kay ang batyagan ko subong sa Ward ko nga tagsa tagsa nga groupo serado nga sila. Daw nadula ang chance ko maglapit ako sa mga groupo sang tawo sa Ward ko. Sa Institute man. Sedto may ara ako ambiyan da pero nadula na siya kay ayaw ko siya kay kapoy ang friendship namon.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Rachel!!! I love you! I know what you mean...it is so hard to go from having such great friends in plentiful amounts, to that awkward unsure place. I find myself there often since I got married and moved away from family and friends. I am almost feel like a different person. I was so social with you guys and outgoing and confident. I am not that girl here. I know she is there inside of me but I gained so much self assurity being around amazing people that were constantly encouraging me to be better. I don't have that anymore. I do know that even if things never become the same as they were before, they WILL get better. This difficult time has taught me a lot about myself that I may have never discovered. It's hard but my lack of relationship building has helped me contribute to the most IMPORTANT relationship....the one with my Heavenly Father. He knows the loneliness. He knows the awkwardness. He knows the feeling of loss. Reading your post made me feel sad because I know you have so much to share with others and I KNOW that it is too much of a waste for you not to share that light with those around you. Push through those negative feelings and remember your worth. I too miss the "good old days" but the seasons of your life have changed and it's time for what is next. I love you!
ReplyDeleteRachel Smith as we discussed last Friday night...Palangga ko ikaw!!! is that right? If not blame the internet not me! I do love you and understand your struggle. I think all 5 of of us are going through something like this right now, all being in diffrent places and/or diffrent Stakes/Wards. I know I lost my mind this year when I had to leave the Singles Ward for the Family Ward, but the truth is we can get through this together.. and you are NOTHING like Gunner "the lurker" Durant. This will not be forever and just like Maegen says, it is time to push through those feelings of lonliness and make friends. Even the ones you think you don't want, you never know what being friendly will get you. Palangga ko ikaw!!!!
ReplyDeleteWow!! I'm impressed with your Ilonggo Harmony! The translator you found was pretty good except its usually said Palangga Taka!! It means the same thing but more commonly used! :-)
ReplyDeleteRachel you have such a bubbly infectious personality and it's hard to imagine you worrying about not having any friends. I know so many people that love you and think you're wonderful and I am one of your many admirers! To make friends in Fresno 3rd Ward just snatch up every new person in the ward and create your own group!
ReplyDelete